As I type this reintroduction, I make it known that my spiritual motivations and personal inclinations are imperfect, as well as less than wholesome. Yet, on one hand I intend on working my self, as I daresay I have always did since school days, and on the other hand this comes about because of anatta, i.e. I am neither in charge of my own body and mind all the time nor is there a fixed entity known as a self. In other words, I am here because I have been meditating and contemplating somewhat on the bodhi notion of the filthiness of the animal body as well as the suffering of worldly beings. In a way I had tired myself out unnecessarily, in another way because it is a known theory in Buddhism and vedic religion that what I had been doing either causes utter dispassion or clinical depression. It is just what we make out of it.
I am also here supporting Bodhi Linux NFP, because I have completed my honours degree in computer engineering, and my two universities are ranked in the top five throughout Asia i.e. I am not from a developing country. In a way, my degree is worth more than a Ph.D from a university from a developing country and I am mindful of this. Still, Due to the high costs of living in Singapore i.e. costliest in Asia, I have since relocated away from the urban areas and resettled as a home based office engineer in the suburbs. The good news is that the weather is perfect and the birds are chirping, the breeze is cooling, yet the truth is that the urban development authority has just announced that all this may go in five or ten years in favour of a megatown project. The birds are going to get angrier, the trees are going to get sadder, the bees and the butterflies will have less living space too.
Instead of whining over the Facebook account that a hysterical group of students rebelling against the government had just gotten me blocked, I just want to thank myself as well as them, because they have just convinced me why they deserve to be seeing psychiatrists, specialists, doctors and eating loads of not-theirs-but-our-own medicine of how we led our youthful years.
It is a very profound insight when we see our own sufferings in younger ones.
On one hand we know that we deserved it i.e. all the suffering as aging computer scientists, that they deserved it i.e. all their suffering as youthful disaffected college students..
On the other hand I see no need of going back to what I used to be which is what they are living out now, perhaps, some of them may reach my age discovering how much suffering life is, and type a similarly foolish introduction like what I am not giving up on, yet, I am not joking when I suggest that not all of these youths are going to make it to my age.
If I can get to twice my age, I can actually do a Ph.D in Computer Science for free, in the meantime, some of these kids rebelling against the Government probably are going to drop out of college in the first place.
Life is fair.
Chris, or Rongxiang LIN